You know what? one thing just crossed my mind. As a girl who can't act lovey dovey in front of a guy or looks like a delicate little flower who needs love and hug by a guy, how can I win a guy's heart? I'm not that strong and unique either. I'm simply plain girl who show love only to someone, that I know, loves me back. I'm not good at that at all. So until I know that a guy loves me back I tend to act like I don't care or whatever. I mean, I try to show him I like him, but it looks like I don't show him enough.  

Unimportant Confusing Story

         So, lately I was so confused about everything. About my life. Everything seems goin' so smooth lately and somehow it scares me that something bad or unwilling event are going to happen. I just experienced a once in a life time event. I graduated from college! (yay?) . Honestly I feel so relieved that finally I've done something that can make my parents smile for a whole day. But then again, it's not something to celebrate yet since I still have to go to complete my other one and a half year as a co-assistant. 

       Something interesting is also happen to me lately that includes butterfly on my stomach. Yes. I can't believe I wrote that. But hey, nobody gonna read this anyway haha. I'm not sure what I'm feeling, and I already said to myself that I must not go too far with this person because I got a feeling that he's the type of person that can do good to you and make you feel something meanwhile he does exactly the same thing to other dozen girls out there. I already feel I'm ready to face him and give him a try. I'm sure that he will not affect me at that time. 

       Now I'm confused. I already affected by him and I'm not prepare for this. I don't wanna get affected, because I don't know what he feels about me. What I see is he just love the attention that those dozen girls (including me?) gave to him. Or he just searching for the right one by trying to get close to them all at the same time and when he feels like he got the one then he would just I don't know maybe throw the other eleven to the friendzone alley. I know that these bunch of words looks so judgemental but that's why I judge him, because I don't even know him that well. This thing makes me so confused, I never felt this way before. Well, I'm pretty much had an experience about one sided love or as a secret admirer but those one sided and secret admirer thing made a clear boundary that he doesn't know i like him and i clearly know that he doesn't like me or something like that. But this? I don't even know what I'm feeling and I don't even know what he feels. One thing for sure is I want to make this clear, but I don't know how. I'm not the type of person that can tell what I feel easily. I never good at that. I don't even talk about this with my bestfriend (but instead I wrote it on a blog?). The thing is I never good at telling someone about my life in person. I'm a better story teller when it includes keyboards and screen or pen and paper. So I think this is the end of my unimportant confusing story. I know my grammar is a mess yet I still persisting to write all of this in english. But who cares?